MISTAKEN

So, here I was waiting for the red bus so to headed towards my class. Usually it takes 15 minutes but I guess not for today….I waited there with my hand folded together.Hi ! she said, I gave her a smile and then suddenly she starts to speak so fast in some languages that I was unaware of…..I am sorry, I didn’t understand….I said.
I think she is a Chinese and she might thought that I was too….Asian people do look similar. Her cheeks became red as she felt embarrassed….with her innocent smile on her lips, she asked, I am sorry, where you from?(oh girl you don’t want to know)..I am from Tibet but I came from India….Tibet, she said aloud…Oh, Tibet… (As if Tibet doesn’t exist) her innocent smile turns out as rage against me. For the first time I realize how strong that word “Tibet” is….so that was it, the end of the conversation…..I know it was going to happen.
Next morning, I was waiting for the same bus at the same bus stop, but this time I’ve come with full preparations with my “Free Tibet” batches on my bag and wore my “Team Tibet” coat. I was trying to make them less embarrassed so they don’t have to mistaken with themselves.
I know if I wish I can pretend to be someone else, something that is not “Tibet” maybe I will get more friends…..but I can’t even think of it…..I have to make people to think that “Tibet exist” and “I exist”. I have my own identity, my own culture, my own language, that I will always be proud of….this journey for me was not easy, but I am happy that I can represent myself with my Tibetan people in “exile” and I know this is the perfect time and perfect place to explore myself…..
I am also an ordinary person like you and I am not a Buddha or some enlightened one that I will keep tolerate such things like once our ancestors did because they are very genuine and they don’t harm others….but I am afraid I am not like them, I will keep speaking truth and I know that “truth can’t be hidden for too long”.
Now, whenever I wait at the bus stop….my conversation ends before it starts….but I am the way I am, whether you like it or not….I don’t hate you and my arms and hearts are open for you and you are welcomed anytime….but remember, I do exist!

in agony

often i cried out loud
you can hear
perhaps, if you lend your ears
i am begging you to listen.

can't you see i am in deep pain
the words were not always enough
the tears tell you the untold things
seems like it won't stop flowing.

once, the land was filled with snow
now, its filled with blood
blood of my families, my friends
yet, we are only here talking big theings.